"I tell you that the curse of God Almighty is on the saloon." -Billy Sunday
Too many religious types call for the complete prohibition of alcohol due to their inability to control themselves or a maniacal desire to make sure no one, anywhere has any fun. Their rational: If your right hand offends thee cut if off, and if I can't control my right hand surely you can't! So, I want a law cutting off all right hands.
Our friends at www.jesus-is-savior.com crystalize the argument like this:
Many fireworks were banned across America over the past few decades because of all the people being severely injured. "Cherry bombs" were a favorite firework of children decades ago (much like the more recent M-80 firecracker, which is also illegal). Yet, most of the fireworks victims did not die. Many were blinded, other were severely burned, but few died. Alcohol is a leading cause of death in the United States. SO why won't legislators pass laws to make alcohol illegal?
Traditional arguments about freedom and history fall one deaf ears.
Perhaps you say, "This is a free country and people need to face the consequences of their actions, you can't make everything illegal." I would agree with that wholeheartedly; however, people have not faced the consequences of their actions. Drunk drivers rarely receive life in prison for murders committed. Someone (s) died because of their deliberate negligence, something drastic needs to be done. If enough drunk drivers started getting LIFE behind bars...many people would start to think hard before chugging down any beer at all.
Yeah, life in prison for negligence. How many corporations or pharmecutical manufacturers want that as our standard of justice? Perhaps our friends forget that the first (and best?) miracle of Jesus was to turn disgusting water into glorious wine so as to save an otherwise dull wedding. The early Christians (who were not Americans like Jesus) introduced wine into their religious ceremonies to commemorate the most important remeberance of the savior. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are anti-Jesus.
"The history of drinking is an alternate history of the world Every advance in civilization has been accompanied by a step forward in mixology. Agriculture gave us vineyards, copper gave us distilling, coal furnaces gave us glass bottles and rubber hosing gave us beer bongs." (Lendler, Alcoholica Esoterica). Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are anti-history (which is another way of saying anti-intellectual)(which is another way of saying stupid).
Many of the hearty English sailors aboard the Mayflower forced the Pilgrims out of their boat and onto Plymouth Rock because they were worried about running out of beer on their return trip. Thereby making the very foundations of our country a statement about the necessity of beer! Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are anti-Pilgrim.
The fifty-five (55) founding fathers who sign the United States Constitution in 1787 then throw a party consisting of 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottles of whiskey, 22 bottles of port, 8 bottles of hard cider, 12 beers and seven bowls of alcoholic punch. During his presidency, Thomas Jefferson runs up the modern-day equivalent of a $103,000 bar bill. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are anti-Founding Father and anti-Constitutionalists.
In 1789 a Baptist minister Elijah Craig invents bourbon in Georgetown, Kentucky. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are anti-Baptists who hate Kentucky.
In 1814 a drunkard named Andrew Jackson defeats a numerically superior English force in the Battle of New Orleans. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are pro-British American haters.
In 1862, a drunk General Ulysses S. Grant saves the Union from destruction. Prohibitionists warn Lincoln about Grant's booze guzzling habits. He responds, "Find out the name of the brand so I can give it to my other generals." Conclusion: Prohibitionists are pro-slavery American hating seditionists who tried to undermine the good judgment of Abraham Lincoln in a time of war.
About 1900 Pablo Picasso (big absinthe fan) produces a revolution in art that changes the way the Western world views itself. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists hate good art.
From 1920 to 1929 Carrie Nation, the Women's Temprance League and the right-wing churches succeed in getting booze officially banned. Every U.S. city has a speakeasy and every rich person still gets good hooch and the good-ol-boys head to the stills. During prohibition 700 million gallons of beer is illegally made and consumed in America. After failing miserably and seeing us sober for nine years women beg for the bars to be reopened. Conclusion: Prohibitionists were wrong then and their wrong now.
Major booze-hounds Winston Churchill and F.D.R. defeated the Nazis and that teetotaler Adolf Hitler. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists are pro-Nazi American haters.
1945-1960: Real men drink real drinks! Americans enjoy prosperity and happy hour. The greatest generation. Also, America falls in love with the south seas. Conclusion: The Prohibitionists hate men, traditional values and Hawaii.
1960-1980: The hippies give the prohibitionists something else to worry about. Conclusion: Prohibitionists were wrong then and their wrong now.
From 1980 to 2000, the Prohibitionists get consolidated behind Jerry Falwell and his moral majority. They immediately start a War on Drugs and increase the severity of laws against all forms of alcohol and raise the age for drinking to 21 (its still ok to die for your country at 18 however). The rise of televangelism and talk radio give them power like never before in government and they use this power to elect George W. Bush President of the United States. Conclusion: Draw your own! Isn't it time we saw these right-wing teetotalers for what they are?
The church is near but the road is icy. The bar is far away but I will walk carefully. (Russian Proverb)
Thanks to the following books for some of the above material: The Modern Drunkard (Rich); Alcohoica Esoterica (Lendler); Drug War Facts (LEAP) and every good history teacher and bartender who ever lived.